The Day Kairi Turned Evil
by Faia Kihaku
Summary: Huzzah! My first fanfic...yeeah! Anyway, Kairi has suddenly turned evil! Sora, Riku, and Tidus are off to set her back to normal, but it won't be easy, since randomness strikes where ever they go!


**The Day Kairi Turned Evil**

Chapter 1: Kairi Turns Evil!

It was a normal day at the Destiny Islands. Did I say normal? I actually meant strange. Kairi was acting rather strange this day. Sora, Riku, Wakka, Tidus, and even Slephie looked to her in a bizzare way. She was kicking the sand of the beach.

"Die sand! Bwahaha" Kairi yelled.

"I'm confused" Tidus said.

"You're always confused" Riku told him.

"I am" Tidus questioned to himself.

"Moron" Wakka said, sighing.

"THE SAND MUST DIE" Kairi screamed.

"What's wrong with Kairi" Sora asked.

"Evil mutants have taken over her brain and are sucking the " Tidus said, but he was interrupted by Kairi's screaming.

"Shut her up, man" Riku said.

"YOU" Kairi said, pointing to Sora. "You are now my evil minion! Get me a diet soda"

"Did...she say..._EVIL_ minion" Riku asked.

"Did she say..._DIET_ soda" Wakka questioned.

"Oh no! Kairi's...Kairi's..." Slephie said in a deep voice.

"What is she? WHAT IS SHE" Sora yelled, frightened.

"I have no idea" Slephie said.

"She has turned evil" Riku said.

"How would you know" Wakka asked.

"I've been evil before. The first phrase is always kicking sand. Then you start eating random things..leaves...wood...paper..." Riku responded.

Everyone took a step away from Riku.

Kairi then screamed again. A scream of evil joy. It seemed like she found a ship under the sand. She jumped inside the cockpit and blasted off into space. Everyone blinked.

"We have to go after her" Riku said.

"Why" Slephie asked him"

"Because she could take over other worlds! Because she could stop everlasting peace! Because...SHE COULD MAKE PIZZA HUT GO OUT OF BUSINESS" Riku said.

"Let's go find Riku save Pizza Hut" Sora said.

"You guys go...I'm gonna stay here and chase Wakka for fun" Slephie said, smiling quite evily.

"Run away" Wakka said, running forward with Slephie hot on his tail.

"Where we gonna get a ship like Kairi did" Riku wondered.

Soon a capsule fell from the sky and it opened up to reveal a ship.

"Cheese" Tidus said.

Sora smacked him upside the head and sighed. "Anyway, how convienant that we have a ship...off to...uhm...wherever Kairi went"

Tidus jumped into the driver's seat and smiled. "I wanna drive! I wanna drive"

Riku grabbed Tidus by the collar of his shirt and threw him into the back seat. "Not in a million years" Riku replied, jumping into the driver's seat.

"How 'bout a billion" Tidus asked.

"Just get driving..." Sora said, jumping into the passenger's seat. With that being said, they took off.

Chapter 2: Madness in Traverse Town

"Watch were you going" RIKU! WATCH " Sora screamed at the top of his lungs, but it was too late. They had crash landed in Traverse Town.

"Heh...heh..." Riku said, trying to smile.

"Next time, I drive" Sora said, with a sad expression on his face.

Tidus popped his head up from the ship and looekd around. "The Cheese Machine has landed! We will now pursuit to attack the base of the Ninja Cows"

"Tidus, I worry about you some times..." Riku said in a distant voice.

"To the base of the Ninja Cows" Tidus said, running off.

"Tidus, get back here" Sora said, trying to chase after him, but he was gone already.

"Hey...I think I see a ship..." Riku said, pointing to a ship that was stuck inside a building.

"Seems like Kairi doesn't have such hot landing skills herself..." Sora said, laughing a little.

"Don't make fun of your master, my evil minion" Kairi said, who somehow magically appeared in front of them.

"I'M NOT YOUR EVIL MINION" Sora yelled.

"Where's my diet soda" She screamed back.

"Random meteor shower! RUN" Riku screamed.

They all ran away under shelter to avoid the flaming meteors and walked back into their poisition.

"Anyway, Kairi what's up with " Sora tried to say, but was interrupted.

"Well, Howdy, partner" Some hillbilly said, coming out of a building, walking up to them.

"...Cid" Riku asked.

"That's my name" Cid said, spitting on the ground. "No doubt"

Everyone blinked and looked to him.

"Oh no! It's a random Heartless attack" Tidus screamed, running back inside the area.

"What? Now? How? Why? Where" Sora asked.

"That's my signal! BWAHAHAHA! Oh yeah, and next time we meet, you better have my diet soda" Kairi said, vanishing into thin air.

Now, Cid has suddenly ran off, and the Guard Armor had appeared.

"How can we fight this thing weaponless" Sora asked in a slight panic.

Suddenly 3 Keyblades magically fell from the sky. The Regular Keyblade fell into Sora's hands, the Pumpkin Head Keyblade in Riku's hands, and the Ultimate Keyblade in Tidus' hands.

Riku and Sora both looked to Tidus who had a grin on his face. "Lucky..." They both said.

And soon they began to fight it out!

_12 hours and 45 minutes later..._

They had finally defeated the big Heartless and sighed.

"That...was..too..hard..." Riku said...

"Aw, come on" Tidus said. "It was easy"

"Well, your the one with the all powerful weapon" Sora replied in anger.

"Let's just get back in the ship..." Tidus responded, jumping in the backseat.

"Did..he just get smarter" Sora asked Riku while walking back to the crashed ship.

As they hopped inside the ship, they heard Tidus say"The evil Ninja Cows have fleed to the Olympus Coliseum! We must go now! We shall travel as hyper - fart speed"

"The day he gets smarter is the day that Pizza Hut goes out of business..." Riku said.

They started the ship and flied away to the Olympus Coliseum.

Chapter 3: Cloud Becomes a Surfer Dude and Cerberus Attacks

"RIKU! WATCH IT! RIKUUUUUUUUUUU " Sora was screaming yet again with Riku and his bad driving. Riku was heading straight for the ground. They crashed again and all hopped out.

"Literally, next time, I drive..." Sora said.

"Quick! Get your weapons before the evil Ninja Cows attack" Tidus said.

"Quiet, boy..." Riku said, slapping him upside the head.

"Why are we here" Sora asked.

Riku, completely ignoring him, pointed forward and said"Hey, look, it's Cloud"

Cloud walked up to them. He was wearing a tye - dye shirt and surfing shorts and had a surfboard on his back instead of his huge sword. "Hey, dude and dudettes! 'Sup, yo" He asked them.

Sora eyed him strangely and said"He has a strange surfer dude accent..."

"Dude, I was just went surfing, and it was like, awesome" Cloud replied, holding up his first finger and pinky (A/N: The strange sufer dude hand sign! XD).

"Wait...where did you go surfing" Riku asked Cloud.

"Like, in the Deep Jungle. Dur, dude" Cloud responded.

"...Riiight..." Sora said, rolling his eyes.

Soon there was a scream, and then Phil, the goat thinger ran outside. "Ack! Run away" He said in panic, running away.

Then Cereberus, the huge 3 headed dog appeared.

"Dude, like, total wipe out" Cloud said. "Later dudes, I gotta get going to the safe waves of the Deep Jungle before I become a piece of toast"

Cloud left, and Cereberus roared. Everyone pulleld out their weapons, and the battle began.

"We shall now take down on of the Evil Ninja Cow commanders" Tidus said. "SONIC BLADE" He said. But, Tidus had such bad aim that he hit Sora and Riku instead.

"Watch where you aim that attack" Riku said, rubbing his head.

"BLIZZAGA" Sora cried, sending a huge massice ice ball towards Cerberus, freezing him.

"Good idea! I'll kill him now! THUNDERA" Tidus said, casting a Thuber bolt. Then the ice broke.

"YOU IDIOT" Riku said, smacking him upside the head with the Keyblade, knocking him out. "...Ooops..."

"Well, seeing as the idiot is now knocked out...I have an idea" Sora exclaimed. He grabbed the Ultima Keyblade that Tidus was using and was now dual - wielding Keyblades! He then pulled off a spree of mid - air dual attacks finishing off Cerberus. He landed from the air and threw the Ultima Keyblade next to the unconcious Tidus.

Riku blinked and stared at Sora in awe. "How in the world did you do that" He asked.

"I don't know, to tell the truth. Maybe I'm just crazy" Sora replied.

"No, that's Tidus..." Riku said.

"Hey, look a note" Sora said. He picked it up and read it aloud:

"HEH HEH HEH! You may have defeaten my evil Cerberus! But you will not defeat my evil Trickmaster in Wonderland! Not that I'm there or anything...anyway...YOUR DOOM AWAITS YOU! AHAHAH"

Sincerely: NOT Kairi!

P.S: Evil minion of mine..er..I mean..evil minion of Kairi, you better have my, er, her diet soda when you see me, er, her"

Riku blinked and said"Well, she's a genius at hiding her cover..." He said with a sarcastic accent.

"Anyway, we better get to Wonderland...and just throw Tidus in the ship if he doesn't wake up in the next 5 seconds..." Sora replied.

Tidus suddenly stood up. "Ah! The Evil Ninja Cow commander! Where'd he go" He questioned loudly.

"...Just get in the back seat..." Riku said, hopping into the ship.

Everyone else got into the ship and they blasted off towards Wonderland.

Chapter 4: The Crazy Wonderland with The Crazy Secrets!

"RIKUUU - You know what...I'm not gonna say anything..." Sora said in a distant voice, sighing.

"I got it this time" Riku said.

"Penguing Base, this is the secret Penguin Moose-Lover spy reporting his last battle...the battle against the one of the many Evil Ninja Cow commanders has been succesful! We are now headed to the next Evil Ninja Cow commander" Tidus said in a voice completely different than his original.

Sora sighed. "Please tell me we're almost there..." said Sora.

"There it is..." Riku said.

"Ack! I forgot to tell the Penguin Base what our next mission is, so now I must push the secret button to contact them again" said Tidus. He poisitioned his hand to push a button.

Sora noticed that Tidus' hand was about to push the button that was entitled "Eject Everyone Out of the Ship Button". "NOOOOO" Sora said.

Tidus then pushed the button. Everyone was ejected as the ship crashed yet again. Now they were falling through some random hole.

"Oh no! The Evil Ninja Cows are trying to manipulate our mind with crazy messages and defying gravity! We must stop them" Tidus said.

"Does he ever shut up" Sora asked Riku.

"Not really..." Riku responded.

_45 minutes later..._

"WHEN THE HECK ARE WE GONNA LAND" Riku yelled.

And soon they landed. They looked around. They were in some sort of bizzare hallway. They walked forward through this hallway and now entered a room with a table that has 2 glass bottles on it, and this seriously small door. Riku kneeled down to the door which seemed to be sleeping.

"Hey, door - knob" Riku said.

No response.

"Mr. Door - Knob" Sora said.

Still no response.

"HEY, DOOR - KNOB GUY, WAKE UP" Riku and Sora both yelled at the same time.

The door - knob simply yawned and open it's eyes. "What's with this ruckus"

"Open up, we need to get inside to defeat the Evil Ninja Cows" Tidus said.

"You people must be stupid. Even if I did open up, you wouldn't fit inside" The Door - Knob replied.

"No, we're not stupid, he's the one..." Sora said.

"Okay, so how do we get past you" Riku asked.

"You can't go by me. I'll explode if you do." The Door - Knob replied.

"...Oookaay...so where do we go" Sora asked.

"Drink that potion and you'll become small. Then you'll fit in that doorway over to my left." It responded.

"OOH! Me first" Tidus said. He grabbed the poition and gulped 1/3 of it down. He srank to micro - size. "Whee! I'm tiny! Now, to defeat the Evil Ninja Cow at MICRO - SIZE"

Sora and Riku drank the rest and now they were all tiny. They walked through that hole and entered a courtyard with a huge, fat lady as the Judge and a small girl in a blue dress as teh Defendant.

"I SENTENCE YOU TO GET YOUR HEAD CUT" The fat lady said.

"But why, my Queen" The girl asked.

"BECAUSE YOU HAVE TAKEN MY JELLY BEANS AND NOW THEY'RE LOST IN THE FOREST! OFF WITH HER HEAD" The Quen roared.

"Oh my..." The little girl named Alice said.

"Guys, we have to save her" Tidus said.

Sora blinked and said"That's the first smart thing you've said in a while..."

"You didn't let me finish" Tidus continued. "We have to save her before the Evil Ninja Cow commanders take her and suck out her brain" Tidus made a strange alien like face and drooled.

"Ugh...anyway...we better save her." Riku stated.

Everyone pulled out their Keyblades. Before they went forward, Sora looked to Tidus and said"I STILL can't believe he got the all powerful weapon..." Then they went forward and confronted the Queen.

"SOMEONE HAS INVADED THE COURTYARD! CARDS, GET THEM" The queen yelled.

"Well, she likes to start battles quickly..." Riku said.

_31 seconds later..._

"Man, those cards were so weak, it wasn't even funny..." Sora said.

"NO! GUARDS, IGNORE THEM! THEY'RE TOO POWERFUL! JUST GO INTO THE FOREST AND FIND MY JELLY BEANS" The Queen said with a very loud voice.

Riku looked around after covering his ears. "Well, Alice escaped...somehow. We might as well get going." Riku stated.

The 3 of them walked back into the room with the sleepy door - knob. They saw Kairi there. She had a black crown on and a stick in her hand.

...Sora blinked. "Oh god..."

"My evil minion! You better have my diet soda or else I shall make you middle class" Kairi ordered.

"I'M NOT YOUR FLIPPIN' EVIL MINION" Sora yelled.

"Wow, this adventure gets weirder by the second..." Riku said in a small chuckle.

"Now you shall pay! Come my Trickmaster! Banish these fools" Kairi said. After that, she vanished like magic.

Soon a huge Heartless monster came inside the room.

"The second Evil Ninja Cow commander" Tidus exclaimed.

"Let's just get this over with..." Riku said, pulling out the Pumpkin King.

"I'm on it..." Sora said, pulling out his Keyblade. "Ars Ancuram" He did a chain of slashes attacking the Trickmaster.

"Blizzara" Tidus yelled, sending an snow flake of ice toward the Trickmaster. Too bad Sora was still attacking the Trcikmaster and was in the way. The snowflake hit Sora and he froze into an ice cube and fell to the ground. Having impact with the ground, the ice quickly broke, and Sora came out.

"You idiot" Riku said. He hit him upside the head with the Keyblade again, which knocked him out again. "...Ooops..."

"Well, you know what this means" Sora said, going to grab the Ultima Keyblade.

Riku quickly got in his way. "It's MY turn to do the cool tricks with the 2 Keyblades..." He said as he grabbed the Ultima Keyblade.

"Meh...fine..." Sora said, sighing.

Riku got in poisition and leaped into the air. He did many air combos with the both Keyblades and defeated that Heartless. He landed on teh ground afterwards and threw the Ultima Keyblade next to Tidus.

"You know, you should do that more often..knocking him unconcious like that..." Sora suggested.

Tidus then shot up and said"HUZZAH! The Evil Ninja Cow commander is defeated"

Riku slapped him upside the head with the Keyblade again and put the unconcious body over his shoulder. They walked back to ship through the hallway and Riku put the body in the backseat.

Riku was about to jump into the driver's seat when Sora said"When I said I was driving next time, I MEANT I was driving next time." He then jumped into teh driver's seat and Riku jumped into the passenger seat.

"Where to next" Riku asked.

"Let's see how Cloud is doing in the Deep Jungle..." Sora suggested.

Then they blasted off towards the Deep Jungle.

Chapter 5: MORE Madness in the Deep Jungle


End file.
